Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Purpose-less

I can honestly say that this post has no purpose, no meaning, and no agenda. I simply needed to busy myself in something and decided that this was the way to accomplish that.

This last week was rough for my family and for myself. The Lord has really been at work on my heart and this evening I feel jumbled & like I have taken 12 steps backwards. So many variables play into my emotional state, the largest being that these pregnancy hormones are ABSURD! I appreciate the process of growing another human being but good grief... can a girl catch a break? lol. I will try to keep the whining to a minimum, you have my word.

Ever felt like your prayers just hit the ceiling? I do. I feel that way today. Perhaps my heart just isn't in the right place.
Joel's (pastor of Connection Point Church) sermon this last Sunday was about feeling overlooked, like you can't catch a break. I understand that message better today than I did on Sunday. I don't feel overlooked in the sense that I am steps behind anyone else but more in the way that I feel taken advantage of. I feel a little unappreciated and slightly taken for granted.

I am guilty of ALL THOSE THINGS, I just want that to be abundantly clear. I know that I have made others feel that way and I truly work to keep that to a bare minimum... we are all human.

Sometimes I feel like screaming out loud, sometimes I do not feel like praying, & sometimes I feel like punching in a wall, lol, the last of which I would do more harm to myself.

There is a song that says, "Everyone needs compassion" among other things, & I want this to be heard... heck, I want to tattoo it on some peoples foreheads! It isn't always about US/YOU, sometimes it is about OTHERS. Have compassion for the trials in other peoples lives, be grateful and thankful for what you have an understand that some are not so lucky.

To myself: Practice what you preach, Collins.

Noted.

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