Purpose-less

I can honestly say that this post has no purpose, no meaning, and no agenda. I simply needed to busy myself in something and decided that this was the way to accomplish that.

This last week was rough for my family and for myself. The Lord has really been at work on my heart and this evening I feel jumbled & like I have taken 12 steps backwards. So many variables play into my emotional state, the largest being that these pregnancy hormones are ABSURD! I appreciate the process of growing another human being but good grief... can a girl catch a break? lol. I will try to keep the whining to a minimum, you have my word.

Ever felt like your prayers just hit the ceiling? I do. I feel that way today. Perhaps my heart just isn't in the right place.
Joel's (pastor of Connection Point Church) sermon this last Sunday was about feeling overlooked, like you can't catch a break. I understand that message better today than I did on Sunday. I don't feel overlooked in the sense that I am steps behind anyone else but more in the way that I feel taken advantage of. I feel a little unappreciated and slightly taken for granted.

I am guilty of ALL THOSE THINGS, I just want that to be abundantly clear. I know that I have made others feel that way and I truly work to keep that to a bare minimum... we are all human.

Sometimes I feel like screaming out loud, sometimes I do not feel like praying, & sometimes I feel like punching in a wall, lol, the last of which I would do more harm to myself.

There is a song that says, "Everyone needs compassion" among other things, & I want this to be heard... heck, I want to tattoo it on some peoples foreheads! It isn't always about US/YOU, sometimes it is about OTHERS. Have compassion for the trials in other peoples lives, be grateful and thankful for what you have an understand that some are not so lucky.

To myself: Practice what you preach, Collins.

Noted.

Well Wishes for the Future of Mr. & Mrs. Davin Haley

My best childhood friend is getting hitched today : )

I remember when she was going to marry Justin Timberlake & I was going to marry JC from NSYNC... How grateful I am for unanswered prayers, lol!

I love that people change and that Megan & I have both grown into the women we were meant to be.

Meggie,
I wish you nothing but joy in your marriage to Davin today and for the rest of your lives. The most incredible thing I have ever done was to marry my best friend. God gave us such an amazing gift in marriage and the opportunity to share your life with a partner. I pray that Davin loves and cherishes you, that he leads you in a Godly union, and that you always feel loved. I pray also that you love and cherish Davin, that you always honor, support, and respect him, and that you continue to fall in love more each day. I love you friend.
Can't wait to watch you walk down the aisle! All eyes on you girlfriend :-D

Wait.. Was My OBGYN Just Holding His Breath???

Yes... turns out he was.

I went in today to get some blood work done & to see if I was anemic (which it turns out I am borderline so I will begin an iron supplement daily). I wasn't expecting to get an exam and I certainly hadn't let myself believe I was going to get to hear my baby's heartbeat (I was devastated last time I didn't get a sono!) so I was OVERJOYED when my sweet, white haired doc went over and picked up the doppler!

"Oh yay!" I exclaimed, and in response received a giggle. : )

We chatted through about the first 20 seconds while he guided the 'wanna be microphone' across my tummy... then we stopped when I heard a heartbeat. It was my own. Sigh.
Another 20 seconds goes by... and then another... and another.

"You're making me nervous", I cautiously said, no response from doc.

He began pushing on my tummy and trying to manipulate the belly that I have come to love.
A total of about 2 minutes passed and then FINALLY the 'whooshing' sound of my little ones heart came over the doppler! "HALLELUJAH!" I thought and subsequently said aloud.

That's when my precious doctor let out a huge gush of air and I realized he had been holding his breath!
It is never comforting when your doctor is nervous especially when it pertains to your growing child, but in the end I got what I was longing for... even if only for a brief moment... the knowledge that our miracle is safe and sound, growing and getting prepared to meet us face to face.

~~ Lord, thank you for your love, for this life, and for this child. Thank you for the knowledge that you are bigger than everything and everything is what you control.~~

Dreary Outside, Joyful in my Heart

I finished painting the BABIES ROOM! I haven't been able to go as hard on it as I would have pre-fat girl (it's a joke, I know I'm not "fat") and therefore I would get frustrated that it wasn't done... NOW! But alas, it is done! I am very, very pleased with the outcome & I really think the baby is going to love it :D







We will be putting the current bed up in the attic and are looking into getting a day bed or futon for the room so that there is plenty of space but still a place to rest/sleep.
I am so thankful for this home & for a place that we can bond with our child. We are blessed beyond words.
Now if only we knew FOR SURE if it was a little boy or little girl! :) Either way I cannot wait to meet our little miracle.